Does your heart yearn, like mine, for a church that loves more intentionally, passionately, and sacrificially? Do you imagine, as I do, a church that opens itself to the radical welcome of all people, no matter their sexual orientation or gender identity?
This wouldn’t be a “progressive” or “centrist” church. We would be as we have always been, a worldwide United Methodist Church that includes people of all ideological stripes. We would be a church that strives to do no harm, to do the most good possible, and to stay in love with God.
In the little Baptist church in Texas where I grew up, I was taught that homosexuality was wrong. Over time, my experiences with friends and family members coming out changed my heart. One day, an old high school friend asked me to lunch. Mark was active in his Lutheran church, and we made casual chitchat about the ministries in which we were involved. Then he told me he was gay and had always been. It had just taken him time to be honest with himself and those he cared about. He wanted me to know because he had finally married the man he wanted to love for a lifetime.
We know that this is a fraught time for our church. We have been at loggerheads over whether same-sex marriages should be recognized in our churches and officiated by our clergy, and whether partnered LGBTQIA+ clergy should be commissioned, ordained, and appointed. We have fought for decades over our different understandings of Scripture and over the language in our Book of Discipline. Yet, despite our disagreements, we know we are called to love God and our neighbor. We do that by committing ourselves, first, to do no harm.
Doing No Harm
Friends, our current language in the Book of Discipline is harmful. As a delegate to General Conference, I have worked for a decade to have that language removed. While at the Connectional Table, I helped lead an effort that resulted in the first institutional support for a change in the language.
I pray that one day, the harmful language in the Discipline will be removed, not because we agree about interpretations of Scripture, but because it hurts parts of our body and gets in the way of the mission of the church.
This realization calls the church to repentance. Part of that repentance is moving away from charges over sexual orientation and gender identity--continuing to support holding charges in abeyance. Repentance also means recognizing the trauma LGBTQIA+ United Methodists have long faced. Those hurts must be cared for by the church as a visible sign of God’s grace.
If I am elected bishop, I will honor the determination of boards of ordained ministry about the gifts, graces and call of clergy, without regard to sexual orientation and gender identity. I pray that there will be no charges brought against LGBTQIA+ clergy or their allies in our annual conferences. And, I support holding any charges related to sexual orientation and gender identity in abeyance until the harmful language in our Book of Discipline is removed. Through our actions, we can live now into being a more just and loving church.
Doing the Most Good Possible
We are coming off of a pandemic that fundamentally changed how people engage in church. Even before the pandemic, many of our worshipping communities were getting smaller. As well, we have struggled with how to be relevant in the world. This, even as our world faces monumental challenges, from climate change to a rise in racism and threats of violence. In the face of such challenges, do we really want to spend our time and limited energy fighting amongst ourselves? Why not get busy doing the ministry to which God has called us?
To do that we must get out of the cycles of conflict and use everybody’s gifts, including the gifts of LGBTQIA+ clergy and laity. We must focus on the mission ahead. That will mean that those who must leave should be able to leave with grace. Those who will stay should stay in a spirit of grace.
Just as importantly, we should not fear one another. I know that some of my more conservative siblings fear being forced to do same-sex weddings or host such weddings in their churches. Some of my LGBTQIA+ siblings fear charges being filed against them. I think that the solution to these fears is to make space for one another to do ministry as we see fit in the ways that are appropriate for our context and in line with our beliefs. If we do that, the Spirit will empower our witness.
Staying in Love with God
Let me share a call to worship written by UCC pastor, the Rev. Ann B. Day, based on 1 Corinthians 12. In it, she calls the church, “The hand clapping, toe tapping, heart pumping, mouth tasting, arms embracing, justice seeking, hymn singing, love making, bread breaking, risk taking Body of Christ."*
With those words, she creates a vivid image of the church loving God through vibrant worship. She paints a picture of the fellowship of believers loving God by embracing one another and becoming one in Christ through the sacrament. This is the kind of church that spreads God’s love, seeks justice, and brings change.
On a recent Sunday, we joined friends for brunch after church. My husband, our son Kamden and I joined Margaret and Jack who are in their mid-80s and early 90s. They are both retired physicians. Margaret is a well-known neuropathologist; Jack a cardiologist. After an illustrious career in science, Margaret became an ordained minister in the UMC.
Breaking bread at the table with these precious people is one of the ways that I stay in love with God, because God is revealed in the breaking of bread with friends. This God brought me into the church and into relationship with Jack and Margaret, my friend Mark, and so many others. These relationships are not based on ideologies or agreement. They are based on the holy bonds that God has knit between us through the love of Christ and by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Think about your church friends, about the relationships in your family. Don’t you find the same? And wouldn’t you agree with the sentiments in Ann Day’s liturgy:
“…we are members of Christ’s beautiful body. None of us can say…I have no need of you. For only together can we find wholeness. None of us can say…I will not care for you. For we are connected like muscle and bone. If one suffers; we all suffer. If one rejoices, we all rejoice. Thanks be to God who in Christ has made us one.”**
Kennetha J. Bigham-Tsai
October 11, 2022
* Shaping Sanctuary: Proclaiming God’s Grace in an Inclusive Church, ed. Kelly Turney, Reconciling Congregation Movement, 2000, p. 97
** Ibid.
Originally published at umc.org. The version above has been updated.